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Previously I’ve written about the hopeless people who are calling the Tech Support Hotline (Read here). I’ve also given you a great tool to use, when dealing with these individuals and others in dire need of assistance (Read here).

This time, Let’s share stories about the Tech Support People who weren’t any help, or who never should have picked up the phone that day at all. I have a few stories here that made me laugh and I hope they can brighten you day as well.

What I’d really like thou, is for you to share your story, with me and the rest of our faithful readers.

“Who’s the MCSE Certified Expert here ??”

You probably already know where this is going, right ?
Okay, a System Manager Trainee was called over to a workplace together with the company’s MCSE. The computer in question would not log on to the network. After about 30 minutes of troubleshooting, the trainee tapped the MCSE guy on the shoulder, saying:” I might know what causes it..” The MCSE Replied: “Shut up, just watch and learn how a professional does things.”.. “But…” The trainee said, before he was cut off, yet again, “Hey, Who’s the MCSE certified Expert, here ? You, or me ?”

The Trainee, then crawled under the table and pulled out the Network Cable, which was unplugged from the wall socket. Guess who got blamed for not saying so in the first place…

“Let’s do it My way…”

Customer: “My laptop won’t boot.”
Tech Support: “Have you tried rebooting?”
Customer: “I can’t reboot, because it doesn’t boot in the first place.”
Tech Support: “Sir, we have to do things my way, okay?”

“Are you sure it’s not a CD-Rom Drive ??”

This one I found on the net somewhere:

Back in 2000 a family decided to get ISDN Internet connection. Now the computer they had at the time, was not the most modern one, it didn’t even have a CD-Rom Drive. The only tech savvy person in the household was out for the day (let’s call him Rich) when the Internet Tech Support guy showed up to install everything they needed.

When Rich came home, he found the tech support guy scratching his head, looking very confused. And Rich’s mother in front of the computer trying to pry out the CD-Rom from the 5 1/4″ floppy drive.

“I have no clue, mam”, The Tech Support Guy said, “I’ve never seen one of those before, are you sure it’s not a CD-Rom drive ??”

[Side Note: You might learn something…]
What is a 5 1/4″ (5.25″) Floppy ? Well, back in the good ol’ days – it was what we used even before there were Hard Drives. It was the predecessor of the 3.5″ diskette and was called a floppy because they were housed in bendable jackets. It could store a staggering 1.2MB. The Disk Drive had the approximately same size as the CD, but was mostly out of use in the mid 1990 ies.

Your Turn!

I’m sure you have a funny story around somewhere in the back of your mind. It doesn’t need to be self experienced. But it should have some plausibility to it. Please share your story in the comments.

I can’t hardly wait!

Regards, Thomas



About Thomas

Computer geek from the age of 7, which amounts to 30 years of computer experience. From the early days (when every computer company had their own OS) of DOS, Windows 1.0 through Seven...

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Comments

  • Rich

    I have a good one from recently. My LG TV had (fixed now) a buzzing speaker that would resonate on certain bass frequencies. I called LG tech support:

    Me: My speaker buzzes at certain frequencies.
    LG Guy: [Paraphrase] turn down the bass and turn up the treble
    Me: This is not a fix and, at best, it’s a poor patch
    LG Guy: Well it does buzz less now doesn’t it?

    The conversation then took this direction:

    Me: Imagine you own a Toyota and, at 3,500+ RPM, it makes an awful noise. So you call tech support and I answer.
    LG Guy: Okay.
    Me: I tell you to put a brick under your accelerator peddle so you can’t actually reach 3,500 RPM. Thus, no more noise… thus, problem solved. Would you be satisifed?
    LG Guy: No
    Me: Please send a tech to my home to fix this issue.
    LG Guy: Okay

    Obviously there was a lot more dialog and the guy didn’t take kindly to my smart a** attitude, but it got the job done and my TV no longer buzzes :)

  • Rich

    I have a good one from recently. My LG TV had (fixed now) a buzzing speaker that would resonate on certain bass frequencies. I called LG tech support:

    Me: My speaker buzzes at certain frequencies.
    LG Guy: [Paraphrase] turn down the bass and turn up the treble
    Me: This is not a fix and, at best, it’s a poor patch
    LG Guy: Well it does buzz less now doesn’t it?

    The conversation then took this direction:

    Me: Imagine you own a Toyota and, at 3,500+ RPM, it makes an awful noise. So you call tech support and I answer.
    LG Guy: Okay.
    Me: I tell you to put a brick under your accelerator peddle so you can’t actually reach 3,500 RPM. Thus, no more noise… thus, problem solved. Would you be satisifed?
    LG Guy: No
    Me: Please send a tech to my home to fix this issue.
    LG Guy: Okay

    Obviously there was a lot more dialog and the guy didn’t take kindly to my smart a** attitude, but it got the job done and my TV no longer buzzes :)

  • Rich

    I have a good one from recently. My LG TV had (fixed now) a buzzing speaker that would resonate on certain bass frequencies. I called LG tech support:

    Me: My speaker buzzes at certain frequencies.
    LG Guy: [Paraphrase] turn down the bass and turn up the treble
    Me: This is not a fix and, at best, it’s a poor patch
    LG Guy: Well it does buzz less now doesn’t it?

    The conversation then took this direction:

    Me: Imagine you own a Toyota and, at 3,500+ RPM, it makes an awful noise. So you call tech support and I answer.
    LG Guy: Okay.
    Me: I tell you to put a brick under your accelerator peddle so you can’t actually reach 3,500 RPM. Thus, no more noise… thus, problem solved. Would you be satisifed?
    LG Guy: No
    Me: Please send a tech to my home to fix this issue.
    LG Guy: Okay

    Obviously there was a lot more dialog and the guy didn’t take kindly to my smart a** attitude, but it got the job done and my TV no longer buzzes :)


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